Love Music, Love Reading...then you should be seen at

The concept of having the first date in coffee shop always fascinated me. Girls were quick to point out the coffee shop allows a quick escape route from a date gone bad. Due to the proximity to NYC, I have had some interesting dates in Starbucks.

Let it be know, that I do not particularly like Starbucks. The reasons actually is quite simple and I couldn't have said it better than Denis Leary whom I quote "Coffee doesn't need a menu it needs a cup".

So here is the sneak peek at what happened on this particular date.

Girl: Hi, I am ____________
Uber: Glad to finally meet.(Insert a joke)
Girl: (Akward laugh)
Uber: How about we get something to drink first

So I walk up to the counter to order what I thought was going to be as easy as A,B,C...(damn I know have that tune in my head)

Uber: "One small regular coffee please and..." looks at the girl.

She steps forward with the confidence of a matador going into the ring

Girl: "I will have the grande vanilla hazelnut Kenyan blend coffee mocha with skim milk and a little powdered cinnamon on the top."

I was shocked and awed at this order and how she never though twice about ordering this. (This was the look Bush and company I believe were hoping to get from insurgents in Iraq)

Starbuck Stuck up Coffee Server: "OK and you..." looking down at me with contempt, "...wanted regular coffee. What size grande, venti,..."

Uber: "Err..the normal size would be fine."Should I have learnt Latin in high school

Obviously I have caused much embarrassment to my date and so she steps in front of me and using the Starbucks lingo gets my small regular coffee. And effectively deflates my ego.

SSCS: "Anything else".

She was looking at my date when asking this because she knew I was a lost cause

Girl: "Get a couple of muffins, cookies and..."

I just stood in the sidelines and watched in amazement. Now I can empathize with mortal when they watch Tiger Woods, Roger Federar, Michael Jordan play their sport at a different level

The tab comes and being a gentleman I volunteer to pick to up. My date doesn't even make a feeble attempt of trying to pay like fumbling with her purse. I saw the bill put back the $20 and took out my credit card. I would have been cheaper to have this date a restaurant where they actually serve you.

Girl: "You are not a big fan of Starbucks."
Uber: "So what gave it way?"
Girl: "Really. See I thought you like to read , listen to music and love coffee. Starbucks should be your comfort zone I wold think"

I agree on the reading and listening to music part. I remember telling her that I love to sit in a coffee shop. I do not ever recall telling her I love Starbucks. Why did she assume I love Starbucks. I am not a hippie, do not write haiku...

Needless to say this was the only date I had with her. Sometimes when I pass Starbucks I wonder, what my life would have turned out if I had taken time to learn the Starbucks way.

But on the bright side I then wouldn't have a blog...

Rock Paper and 10% discount

I drive to work. Not to far, around a good 30 to 45 minutes drive. Normally I plug in my iPOD and listen to my eclectic collection of music. But yesterday on my way back from work, I decided to tune into ESPN Radio and listen to non sportspeople rant and rave about "our" team not doing this or that, second guessing everyone and playing God. (Talk radio deserves a seperate blog)

Apparently on ESPN over the weekend they were showing the Rock, Paper, Scissors championship in Las Vegas. So Dodgeball was not a movie but a documentary - WOW !!!

So this got me to the time when I was living in Japan. I was sick and went to the doctor. She prescribed me some drugs and I proceeded to go the drug store. Note that at that time I spoke only around 50% Japanese (actually I think I plateaued at 50% in learning Japanese). So I had to take my translator everywhere with me. OK...back to the story.

Went to the drug store and after enduring the customary Japanese load greeting (they yell "Welcome" anytime you walk into a store), they filled out my prescription.

At the checkout after paying, the cashier proceeded to ask me (this is what was translated to me)"Do you want to play a game and win a prize?". I did not want to spoil the enthusiasm and agreed to play the game. She then proceed to extend her arm, close her fingers and tell me "We are going to play rock, paper and scissors and if you beat me you win a prize". I was shell shocked...I have over the years seen some crazy promotions in stores but nothing like this.

And yes I won 2 out of 3 and they gave me a 10% discount card to the store if I shop there the next time. This got me thinking if they where they hoping I fall sick?.

PS: Never went to store again.

Where everybody know your name....

When I moved from India to US, I used to live in beautiful Newark, NJ. In Newark all shops (mainly dollar stores), restaurants (mainly Chicken Places), coffee shops (Dunking Donuts) used to close by 6 PM. The only place open used to be this "fine" Irish Pub that would stay open till 11 PM (we knew that is was 10:45 when the bar owner would yell "Last call folks - you cannot go home but you cannot stay here"). I therefore started frequenting it regularly. The clients used to be mainly Cops, FBI, Firefighters, local Irish politicians, and a smattering of graduate students from Rutgers.

During that time I used to be only Indian in that place (this always surprised me since Newark was home to NJIT and I know a lot of Indians did their MS there - oh they were geeks, answered my own question...back to the story). Over time they started acknowledging me and when business was slow, the owner (Bill Scully) would sit and talk to me. I explained about India - the culture, life, politcs etc and he was genuinely interested. But for some reason he could never remember my name.

So one day this girl I used to hang out with comes to bar looking for me. She asks the owner if he has seen me. Bill told her he doesn't know who she was talking about. She described me to Bill (In my mind I think it was tall, dark, brooding, scholar, handsome young lad). Bill nods and proclaims "Oh! You mean Sean Murphy. Fine Irish lad he is"

The next minute, i walk into the bar and as I soon as I opened the door all patrons yell "Sean Murphy". I proceed to turn around to let the Irish man walk into the door and seeing no one I turn back. They all tell me that Scully told them my story - Indian orphan, washed ashore in as basket, loving Irish doctor couple adopt me and name me Sean Murphy.

To this day (it has been 9 years) when I go to Newark they all know me as Sean Murphy. The sad part is they know more about my "Irish" heritage than I do.

Lost - the saga of one bag

It happened around 2 years back. I decided I had enough international experience, I could handle and made my way back to US of A. Most of my stuff (like my samurai sword/Australian boomberang/Kiwi Good Luck Statue) where being shipped to US of A, but I decided to carry with me 6 bags/boxes.

Made my way to the luggage carousel #12, I should a write a separate blog about the conversations I tend to have there. Slowly the tired travellers started to pick up their bags and head out. I had got 5 of my bag/boxes and had only one to go. I should have realized at this point that the 6th one was not going to come out, but somehow was clinging on to the last vestige of hope that one of my luggage mysteriously split from the group and will be coming out solo.

Me, and another couple kept peering hoping to see our luggage. All that remained on the carousel is this one bag waiting for it owner. The owner I presume was being given the alien probe at immigration or decided to leave the bag in a haste to get out of the airport. So with heavy heart me and the other couple decided that time had come to face the inevitable and report it the airline. So we troop over the airline (United) counter.

Here is some of the conversation that happened:

Uber: Excuse me but one of my bag is missing.
Counter Girl: Did you look everywhere?
Uber (confused as to what everywhere means): You mean did I go outside and check in the cargo hold.
Counter Girl (rolling her eyes): No did you make sure your bag is not there
Uber: I am sure it is not there, else I would not have been here.
Counter Girl: OK fill out the forms.
Uber (filled out the form and handed it to her): So my bag is lost
Counter Girl: It is not lost, we have not found it yet.
Uber: So it is lost.
Counter Girl: No it is not lost as I told you. We have just not found it?

I was tired after the 13 hour flight, but went ahead and asked her the questions of the day

Uber: When will the status of my bag move from "Not Found" to "Lost"

She gave me that look of "I hope you never find your bag" as I started to turn and head towards the exit. The couple behind me smiled and thanked me for the laughs

PS: The 6th bag was never found. I assume that somewhere in "Not Foundland" my bag is wondering why I had left without saying goodbye. I miss my 6th bag. I miss the stuff in it, especially my Hello Kitty Graphic T-Shirt.

Accents, Powerpoint, Picture - The Return of Silence

Around 2/3 months back, I had this interesting conversation during a presentation...

Presenter: .....to wrap up, this new service will deliverable a better ROI for our customer. any questions, thoughts...

Uber: I having trouble understanding how you can attribute the growth of our customer's sales solely to our service.

Presenter: Well as you can see in slide X, the rationale is explained

Uber: Yes I can see that, but there are other factors too that help to drive sales. If the customer ask can we back up our numbers?

Presenter: I do not think you understand nothing is that black and white

Uber: If nothing is black and white how is this presentation so black and white in terms of attributing success to us.

Presenter: You are misunderstanding me. Maybe it is the language..

Uber: I understand. Furthermore I speak with an accent but I do not hear with one.

I also wondered is it the accent that causes miscommunication or is it the lack of clearly explanation (oration skills). With the advent of Power Point, the orator no longer replies on speech but on visual to communicate effectively. But though a picture speaks a thousand words, I believe that words with picture often communicate more than just picture. Actually less picture/charts with more words are the best. If that is not the case, wouldn't Hollywood be making silent movies still...?

Battle of the Bulge

Along with the rest of the 95% population of America, I too embarked on the fruitless journey of weight loss.

So I started at 235 pounds. Here was my schedule

January - 4/5 days of gym a week which involved weights and cardio. Slim-fast for lunch.
February - 3/4 of gym a week. Intake of Slimfast cut down from everyday to 2/3 days
March - 3/4 days of gym a week. Slimfast down to 1/2 days a week.
April - Back to the January schedule

So yesterday I was in Central Bar NYC to catch my friend's friend band's CD release party. I was lamenting with my friend MGS about my lack of loosing my gut

Uber: I do not get it I am doing close to 100 situps 4/5 days a week and my abs are still flabby
MGS: I think it is the Indian genes
Uber: What?
MGS: White folks do 100 situps one day and the next day they have a six pack. Indians can do 100 situps every day but will continue to be flabby.

I am wondering if that is true...but then again I wonder if MGS was telling me that I am beyond hope (MGS was the one that helped me get serious about my weight by referring to me as a "Big Teddy Bear")